Everyone Has Their Reasons
by Inumaru12
Summary: Riku wanted to see the worlds and Kairi wanted to know where she came from. So what was Sora’s reason for wanting leave the island? It was a secret he’d never share with them. Warnings inside, angst. One-shot


**Title:****Everyone Has Their Reasons  
Genre:** Angst/Hurt/Comfort**  
Rating:** T**  
Pairing:** None.**  
Warnings:** Abuse, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, etc.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts at all. *Cries***  
Summery:** Riku wanted to see the worlds and Kairi wanted to know where she came from. So what was Sora's reason for wanting leave the island? It was a secret he'd never share with them.

**XxXxXxXx** = Means a Scene change/Different time change

**Everyone Has Their Reasons**

Riku wanted to leave to see the other worlds that just had to be out there. Kairi wanted to know where she had come from, what her home world was like.

And Sora…Well, he had his own reasons.

**XxXxXxXx**

Sometimes, Sora really resented Riku. (_He couldn't hate Riku. He knew hate and that just wasn't hate he was feeling_) Why did the white haired boy want to escape from the island? He had parents who loved him, and a little sister who looked up to him. He was popular with just about everyone and could do well in just about everything he put his mind to. So why did he want to leave all this behind?

Sometimes Sora would just do anything to be in his shoes, to have people love him so much like that, but then the brunette thinks about it and realizes that if he was in Riku's shoes, then Riku would be in his.

And he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

**XxXxXxXx**

Sora's father left when he was three years old, taking all of his mother's money and a part of her with him. She had once been a kind woman with plenty of friends, but was now bitter and hurtful and her only friend was a full body of whisky.

The woman ignored Sora when she was sober, but hit him and called him names when drunk. A part of Sora hated the fact that he liked her best when drunk. At least then she'd pay attention to him.

**XxXxXxXx**

**  
** The first time Sora thought about suicide was when he heard the news about the kid he never knew had drowned on accident or on purpose. Sora wasn't sure and he didn't really care. All he could think about was if it would be painful to drown. Air quickly leaving your lungs with the distortion of shapes swimming around you until you finally just give up.

The next time Sora walked into the courtyard of his school, he looked up towards the roof and wondered if it was high enough to jump off it and kill himself. Sora soon found a sick little game, wondering if something was enough to kill him. Most people thought he was daydreaming about something good, because we he thinks of himself dead, he smiles.

**XxXxXxXx**

**  
** Sometimes, he wants to make those daydreams into reality. Some days he wants it so badly he even starts writing out letters to Riku and Kairi, explaining that he was sorry that he left them, but he just had to go. After a few moments after writing it, Sora felt a mini panic attack. He didn't want to leave them, they were the only things in his life that was really precious and meant anything to him. So Sora took it and ripped them up into little tiny pieces, just like all the others he's ever done.

He would continue on. He would beat his own personal Hell.

**XxXxXxXx**

**  
** He was surprised, to say the least. Riku had taken the darkness, and not him. Why not him, why not Sora? Sora wasn't really keyblader material, unless the material called for disturbed teens who think of ways to die and have a mother who abuses them mentally and physically. Why not Riku instead? He was good with people; he could be charming and funny and passionate about things, while Sora seemed to be completely opposite.

But Sora continued on. He would take his role with dignity and march on. He would find his small family that consisted of only Riku and Kairi, and they'd be whole again.

**XxXxXxXx**

**  
**It took a year and an half, but Sora finally had his family together, and his small family had grown, even if it was only a bit. Now Sora was back on the islands, but now things were different. His mother was dead.

Alcohol poisoning, was what the doctors said, with also her being too intoxicated to move so when she threw up, she actually choked on her own vomit. Had Sora been home, he would have had to help her.

Sora stood in the graveyard, looking at his mother's grave. _Great mother, she will be missed_, is what it said. Kairi had hugged him, Riku gave his shoulder a squeeze and Donald and Goofy had given awkward apologizes while King Mickey just looked on. They had all left him, thinking he had wanted some alone time with his mother. In a way, he did. It was easier to be alone then to be with others and have to explain his actions.

Instead of tears for his mother, he laughed. He laughed himself sick to the point he was on the ground on his knees next to the grave. It wasn't that he was glad that she was dead; it was just that the irony was so _painfully_ funny. All Sora's life he's needed his mother and never did she help him, and once she actually needs him, he's not there to help him.

Sora is really trying not to laugh, really, he is. But the laughter is coming from deep inside, shaking his body with the numbness he feels. Sora can't feel pain or happiness or anything at the moment because he feels so numb and for a split second he wonders if maybe he got turned into a Nobody or a heartless and maybe no one realized it.

"Sora?" A voice called from behind him.

Sora bit down on his fist, trying to stop laughing. He looked behind him and saw King Mickey standing there. Mickey said no more, but walked over to where Sora was kneeling on the ground. They didn't say anything and there was only silence, except for the few chuckles Sora couldn't help but let loose.

"It's a lie." Sora said suddenly.

If Mickey was surprised by Sora's statement, he didn't show it.

"What is?" He asked.

"That she's a good mother. She really wasn't."

"How so?"

"Well," Sora started. "The only times she'd talk to me was when she was drunk and that was when she was screaming at me and the only time she'd touch me was when she was hitting me."

The teen never noticed Mickey's frown deepen or his fist clenching slightly.

"I-I always tried my best to please her. I kept the house clean, I made her dinner, but she never acknowledges the fact that I am her son. I just tried so hard. After a while, I just realize I was never going to get her affection, so I gave up."

There was a heavy silence between the two of them and it was a long time before the two of the them spoke again.

"But do you miss her?" Mickey's voice was soft, and not accusing.

Sora was silent and really wondered to himself. Did he miss her? The more he thought about it, the more he realized the answer.

"Yes." Sora confessed, his voice no higher than a whisper. "I do miss her."

And Sora finally allowed himself to cry.

**Owari**

**Inumaru12:** A really short one-shot. I really wanted to do this idea for a while. Basically all Sora angst, but hey, there needs to be more. I don't know why, but I love to see my favorite characters in angsty situations. If anyone knows of any good angsty!Sora stories and would like to share, I'd love to read them, especially if it's in canon-verse.

Please tell me what you think. Review please~!


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